The XS Malarkey Questionnaire - Getting straight to the heart of the comics in a way the Look-In Fact File only dreamed about...

Mike Tombs Mike Tombs

Description: Wry observationalist.

1. Describe yourself in five words.

2. What has been your proudest moment?
Being given a standing ovation at the 1999 Royal Variety Performance.

3. Who (living or dead) would be your five ideal dinner guests and why?
Living because they'd be better company, probably smell better and could make their own way there.

4. Who was your favourite Dr Who and who would you cast as the next one?
Peter Davidson and the next one should be Professor Stephen Hawking.

5. When you were a child what did you want to be?
An adult.

5. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?
See the answer to question 2.

6. If you knew the world would end in 10 minutes what would you do?
Tell people that my watch is 9 minutes slow, watch them all panic, let a minute pass, what them celebrate thinking it was a hoax, then tell them I was only joking and then watch them die prematurely of a heart attack before joing them.