The XS Malarkey Questionnaire - Getting straight to the heart of the comics in a way the Look-In Fact File only dreamed about...

Sarah Ledger Sarah Ledger

Description: Takes no shit from hecklers...

1. Describe yourself in five words.
Rarely where I should be.

2. What has been your proudest moment?
Hearing my children use irony effectively.

3. What is your most annoying habit?
Interrupting other people's conversations.

4. What are you like when you are drunk?
Usually at some stage in the process of vomiting.

5. What was the last illegal thing you did?
I ran over a nun on a zebra crossing

6. Do you tip in restaurants, and if so, how much?
Only if the waiter/waitress is helpful.

7. Who (living or dead) would be your five ideal dinner guests and why?
Ewan Mcgregor, Kenneth Williams, Mae West, Oliver Reed, Kathy Burke. Need I explain?

8. Who was your favourite Dr Who and who would you cast as the next one?
Patrick Troughton. I think Jennifer Saunders should be the next Dr Who.

9. What are your all time favourite TV shows and why?
Blue Peter, because it tells you everything you need to know. The Office because sole possession of a stapler is overrrated.

10. What's the most stupid heckle you've had and how did you respond?
"Fuck off, you're shite!" Quick as a flash I quipped, "Fuck off yourself!"

11. What do you wear in bed?
100% cotton.

12. When you were a child what did you want to be?
Able to fly.

13. What's the biggest lie you've ever told?
I think someone must have scraped it in the car park .

14. If you knew the world would end in ten minutes what would you do?
I like to think that I would hold my children close and bravely wait for death but I think the reality would involve the high speed dispersal of my stomach contents.

15. If you could travel in time for only one day, when and where would you go?
Dallas, 22nd November 1963: I would keep my eye on the grassy knoll.

16. What do you have for breakfast?
A pint of water, two cups of tea, museli, yoghurt and a banana.

17. What's the answer to life, the universe and everything?

18. What's the best sweet ever invented?
Sherbet Dabs.

19. Who would you ban from being seen or heard by anyone else again ever?
So many people... Tim Henman, Nellie Furtardo, Margaret Thatcher, Delia Smith, the entire cast of Last of the Summer Wine, Cliff Richard, anyone smug, the man who revs up his car outside my house on a Sunday morning... the list is endless.

20. Astonish us with a fact.
George Formby was born blind and recovered his sight during a coughing fit as a toddler.