Rupert Feeds the Goat...

Stormin’ night, but how did I end up on stage?

First up was the ‘interesting’ Christian C. Dunn. [What does the 'C' stand for I wonder? - Spider] When he said he was a threat to society he wasn’t joking! Nuff said!

Kate, Lee & Rob. Next up was Kate Fox, and yes she is a fox! Before she went on I noticed on the posters that she was keen on audience participation, so I thought, I’ll sit near the back and quietly write the review... but somehow I ended up on stage dancing as part of a boyband called The Ringtones. D'OH! Nice one Kate, fantastic set and my phone number is 07974 6** ***!

Marvin Cheeseman came on after Kate. Marvin (a virgin to Bar XS) delighted the audience with his fantastic, if a little strange, poetry, and managed to plug his book Full Metal Jacket Potato numerous times during the set. There’s another plug for you Marv.

Toby took great delight in announcing the next act, Geoff BITCH! (now known as Peter Pitzburg). Steve Hughes Striking name and an even more striking shirt. I’m glad the spotlight had blown because he would have lit up like a Christmas tree! It would have turned the night into Saturday Night Fever with Mr BITCH starring as the glitter ball. Geoff (who loves tits, no he REALLY loves tits) entertained the audience with his guitar antics and enlisting Rupert to ‘come’ on stage... which was nice. I thought Kate Fox had embarrassed me!

Steve Hughes asleep on the Bar XS settee - must be the jetlag... The grand finale this week thankfully wasn’t the joke competition, as Toby had put on so many great acts there wasn’t time, it was the mighty Aussie, Steve Hughes. Originally from Sydney and reminiscent of Denis Leary, Steve hates sport, cries during porn and goes to parties with a bong up his arse!

A great finish to another brilliant evening at the XS Malarkey!

See you all next week.