"Peter had a friend in his mother..."

It seemed to be a slightly subdued audience at the start on Tuesday but the genius of Justin Moorhouse got some of the boring bastards ready for a top night of comedy. I suppose some people would rather watch football...

Jason replaced the open spot as he had forgotten to tell the open spot SWOB to turn up! Jason 'Calamity' Cooke strikes again.

Jason kicked off the set with a spliff rolling masterclass from the boys and girls of S Club 7, and some sound advice from Noel Coward. "Don’t leave the lady in the damp patch, and in the morning she will make you toast."

What else can I say about Jason that hasn’t been said in the last few weeks? Good material, entertaining, likeable delivery and he even got my name right!

Second on the Malarkey shoebox was Paul Lightfoot.

Paul, was seeing a Scottish lass who wouldn’t go down on him unless he deep-fried his cock. Unlucky fella. Paul hasn’t had a valentine’s card since he was seven. He really misses Jonathan King.

Paul’s impressions of people like Alan Partridge were fairly convincing but sometimes the material wasn’t quite up to scratch. The straight material was great though and got a good reception from Tribe Malarkey.

Some of the less PC material didn’t go down too well with the crowd. I can’t believe some of the crowd are suddenly getting politically correct. They usually don’t give a shit.

After the break, we saw the return of Malarkey regular Arnold Bolt.

Arnold’s unique songs, off-beat comedy and poetry always go down well at the Malarkey. And Tuesday was no exception.

Arnold has got some fantastic material. My favourite was the dig at REM’s Losing My Religion: "I’m mysterious, I am deep, I could right this bullshit in my sleep." "I think I thought I think too much. Think again." Utter class.

Arnold’s energetic and off beat performance was a winner from start to finish at the club on Tuesday.

The headliner was the fantastic Tony Burgess. Cheetham Hill lad Tony wants to know why the BNP, an organisation that hates foreigners is on the World Wide Web.

Tony uses Cannabis for medical reasons. "I sold shit loads, got treated privately."

Tony is a master of Manchester humour. Not exactly groundbreaking but piss-funny. And do not heckle him! Did you hear that Matthew, DO NOT HECKLE TONY!

The comic of the night for me had to be the mighty Justin Moorhouse. The way he finds reams of humour from the crowd is a treat to watch. Especially when it is such a shy audience. Justin coaxed information from them brilliantly and then proceeded to take the piss out of them royally.

A good, solid night at the Malarkey and no joke competition. Bonus!

See you next week.

Lee.