"My lungs and kidneys are punctured and my feet are on fire."

Jamie Douglas Bit of a quiet night on Tuesday, crowd-wise (it was reading week and the footy was on) but still not a bad night. First onto the stage was Jamie Douglas.

Jamie played Malarkey's back in May and did okay then, but he's obviously been working on the material as well as the delivery because, headliner aside, he was probably the best act of the night. His style seems to be a surrealist cross between Markus Birdman and Adrian Poynton. Twisted and Paul Scott bizarre tales and observations which won the crowd over at the start. And to his credit he dealt admirably with the dim, gobby students at the front.

Next on, making his debut at XS Malarkey, was Paul Scott.

Scouser Paul opened up with a fairly predictable self-deprecatory "it-was-my-mother" style gag, and sadly, with some of the follow up gags, you could see the punchline coming. The material Mick Davies generally was a bit on the weak side (what phrases really mean in personal ads for example, e.g., cuddly = fat), and the delivery seemed a bit too slow and lethargic. He did get laughs but could have done much better.

Third on was a Malarkey regular, Mick Davies.

Affable Mick is usually a crowd pleaser and this gig was no exception, and although it was nice to see some new material in there, there still seems to be the "I'm fat" theme running through the entire set. Liz Stephens Although it's generally well done I'd still like to hear a bit more varied material. Good performance though, although he should try and project his voice a bit more (and hold the mic closer).

Next on after Mick came an act who's played Malarkey's once before, Liz Stephens.

Liz had improved on her last performance, which was okay but the nerves were showing a bit. She was still nervous before she went on but the delivery was much better, and there was a bit of new material since last time. Went down well enough with the crowd.

Bob Kobe Next on, main support of the night and making his Malarkey debut, was Bob Kobe.

Bob played a spoof American character - typically loud and brash - with some subtle self-deprecation and piss-taking thrown in for good measure. He was a fairly solid main support act - not totally my cup of tea but got plenty of laughs all the same.

Paul Foot Headliner of the night was camp-as-Christmas Paul Foot.

Paul started his set with a five minutes on how mild the weather was that day - doesn't sound particularly funny but somehow it was. I think it's all in his persona on stage. Then followed his crime set, which was basically a half hour lecture on different types of crime, coupled with some marvellous props. He found time for a few withering putdowns of the dizzy tarts at the front who wouldn't shut up. Not the best headliner we've ever had but a good, solid set all the same.

See you next week.

Spider.