"How many fucks does it take to shit a cunt? Four - one to shit the cunt, the rest to lick the fuck-piss off my spastic."

First onto the Malarkey stage was a last-minute replacement for Reginald D Hunter, the excellent Justin Moorhouse.

Justin started out, as he so often does, with a load of audience banter and improvisation, some of it involving the camera that was in that night, set up right in front of the stage (can't remember what it was for - I think it was some student thing). He then went into some good new material about the skydiver died from having his strings cut (ooh! edgy!) plus more familiar stuff like his Amsterdam material. A good set by anyone's standards, but he was just arsing about for much of it. Still funny though.

Second on, making his return appearance was the unusually-attired roly-poly funnyman, Steve Ferringo.

Steve took to the stage in a red PVC - er - wrestling outfit (that's what it looked like to me anyway) and went into his material about being the size he is (including a nice adlibbed line about having eaten Toby's stolen hat). Other material ranged from trying to attract women by giving away free Parker pens to guarding pies from otters and eagles. A solid set from Steve, but there are only so many jokes about being fat you can do. That said, he's got a very confident stage presence and if the material sharpens up a little bit he could go a long way.

Third act onto the Malarkey stage was The Man With The Golden Pun, Gary Delaney.

Gary had an incredibly laid back style (although not as laid back as he used to be) and treated the audience to a non-stop barrage of one-liners ("58 of which are quite good", according to Gary). Most of them were superb - the kind of gags that most comics would kill for. He also had an anecdote or two, which is a new departure for him. Seemed to work though. A great set all round, and the audience loved it. Great stuff.

Headliner of the night was angry Australian, the outspoken Brendon Burns.

Wow! What can I say? Brendon came out with subject material most other comics would baulk at doing, but managed to put valid points across, and more importantly, was incredibly funny with it. And anyone who hates The Darkness is alright by me ("FUCK The Darkness! Fuck 'em in their stupid arses!"). His set involved some incredibly impressive swearing, made more believable by the vitriolic manner of the delivery. See this man. He's very good. Hopefully Toby will get him back at Malarkey's.

See you next week.

Spider.