"Sticky passage to eternity."

A packed night of comedy tonight and the night got off to a good start with the first act, XS Malarkey regular Dominic Woodward.

Dom was there to mainly plug the play he was in as part of the Manchester Comedy Festival (written by Alfie Joey), but did five minutes or so of no-nonsense Woodward Gold (plus a new little bit at the start about stupid questions on Question Time). A good, solid set and a bonus point for the phrase "Them's the gags!"

Second act of the night, making his Malarkey debut, one of my favourite of the new breed of new comedians, Scouse la' Tony Schumacher.

Tony had a slightly meandering, storytelling style, peppered with gags, puns and witty observations, with a good smattering of Scouse stereotypes thrown in for good measure. He looked very calm and relaxed on stage, and I find him not only funny but entertaining and interesting to watch as well. I was a bit disappointed with the audience's reaction as I thought he deserved a slightly bigger response (although he did get some good laughs). The only real minus point about Tony's set is that there are a few too many diversions and tangents in his set (although having a few does make a set seen less scripted). Good set all round, though.

Next up, first paid act of the night, was a comic who routinely does well at XS Malarkey, Martin Plant.

Martin, bearing a faint resemblance to Daniel Kitson (sans glasses), started off his set with some new material about the Government information book about what to do in an emergency, featuring some sharp and witty observations. From then on television infomercials were given the Plant treatment, including his more familiar Claims Direct material, getting good laughs from the audience. I do like Martin's particular brand of sarcasm and I think the crowd did as well. Well done, sir.

After the break was a 'bonus' extra at Malarkey's - Alfie Joey and Alfie Joey in a preview of a sketch for The Unbroadcastable Radio Show.

The sketch centred around Toby submitting a sketch to a show and Alfie plays the person who has to censor it. Suffice to say the script was a satchelful of swearing, double entendres and general filthiness: "If we only have one cock, I think we'll be able to slip in a couple of bollocks." It was one of those sketches where you really had to be there. Superb stuff, especially the big list of rude words towards the end.

Main support of the night was a comic who hasn't played Malarkey's in too long, Karen Bayley.

Karen had probably her best gig yet at Malarkey's with a combination of material new and old; the older stuff is solid and the new stuff was great (Richard Madeley being a vampire). Some of the topical stuff obviously needs updating (Jade from Big Brother) but it still got the laughs from the crowd which is the important thing. She had her familiar material about being Brummie, mixed in with more new material and all told it was an impressive gig.

Headliner of the night was the man once voted as best comic to ever have appeared at Malarkey's, Ian Cognito.

Ian - looking slightly reminiscent of an angry Kenneth Connor - immediately launched into his unique brand of verbal napalm, including a fantastic gag about Americans torturing Iraqis by pissing on them ("We've all had games of Twister that have ended up like that."). The set was a healthy mixture of ranting and sharp punchlines, earning the total attention (and laughs) from the crowd. He had the opportunity of a well-earned encore at the end but refused to do it, in true Coggers style. He's a surprisingly nice man off-stage as well... A top end to a top night.

Spider.